The REAL Threat's Not In A Caravan
6 years ago
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A Sybarite's 12 Days of X-mas
On the first day of X-mas, my true love gave to me a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the second day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, two rib-eye steaks and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee....
On the third day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob iin front of the TeeVee....
On the fourth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the fifth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the sixth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the seventh day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the eighth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjobin front of the TeeVee...
On the ninth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the tenth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the eleventh day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, eleven porno vids, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in the front seat...
On the twelfth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, twelve hundred dollars, eleven porno vids, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
Or this:
On the second day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, two rib-eye steaks and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee....
On the third day of X-mas, my truelove gave to me, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob iin front of the TeeVee....
On the fourth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the fifth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the sixth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the seventh day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the eighth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjobin front of the TeeVee...
On the ninth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the tenth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
On the eleventh day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, eleven porno vids, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in the front seat...
On the twelfth day of X-mas, my true love gave to me, twelve hundred dollars, eleven porno vids, ten ribbed condoms, nine holes of golf, eight tabs of acid, seven dvds, six bags of weed, five grams of coke, four viagra tabs, three Guinness drafts, two rib-eye steaks, and a blowjob in front of the TeeVee...
Or this:
Monday, December 21, 2009
Lady Ga-ga Parody
A parody of a self-parody? I admit I don't "get" Lady Ga-ga, a sign of my advancing, irreversible curmedgeonhood, I guess.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I'm broke. It's hard...Merry Xmas. Here's a fuukin' card....
Probably the most odious ad of the whole season, so far...
DOTOF™ to Bitch, Ph.D....
Another "doc" offers this recollection of "the good old days" when a carton of smokes was in just about every X-mas stocking:
DOTOF™ to Bitch, Ph.D....
Another "doc" offers this recollection of "the good old days" when a carton of smokes was in just about every X-mas stocking:
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Domestic Narcissism: This Is REALLY Excessive
Fuckers could light a small village in Africa for a year with all the juice they've spilled on their own narcissistic project.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Co-Co-Co Caine, Santa!
"It's my wife's sleigh..." ROTFLMAO
DOTOF™ to FBuddy, Richard King, who has found and is assidulusly mining a very funny vein of holiday humor.
DOTOF™ to FBuddy, Richard King, who has found and is assidulusly mining a very funny vein of holiday humor.
Monday, December 14, 2009
"Okay, fatman, assume the position!"
"It's my wife's sleigh..." ROFLMAO!
DOTOF™ to FBuddy, Richard King. who has found is assidulusly mining a very funny vein of holiday humor.
DOTOF™ to FBuddy, Richard King. who has found is assidulusly mining a very funny vein of holiday humor.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Ol' St, Nicho-Lore
- Saint Nicholas of Myra, the original Santa Claus, was the patron saint of children, thieves and pawnbrokers.
- Based on previous surveys, 17 percent of you will embarrass yourselves in some way at your office Christmas party.
- A Mongolian wild ass can run 8 mph faster than a reindeer.
- It's Donder, not Donner.
- Christmas pudding should be stirred from east to west.
- 56 percent of Americans sing holiday carols to their pets.
- 53 percent of Americans plan to "re-gift" this year.
- 1 in 3 men will wait until Christmas Eve to finish their shopping.
- 1 in 6 men would like to get rid of all the "gift-giving nonsense.
- A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.
Christmas Eve in 2001, the Bethlehem Hotel had 208 of its 210 rooms free. - It's "God rest ye merry, gentlemen," not "God rest ye, merry gentlemen."
- There are 1.76 billion candy canes produced every year.
- Kris Kringel, a man in his 40s, lives in North Pole, Alaska, and delivers pizzas for a living. He drives a 1984 Ford Tempo.
- Based on a 1999 estimated population count of North America and Europe, on Christmas Eve of that year Santa Claus had to visit 42,466,666 homes in a 12-hour period — that's 983 homes per second.
I (don') wanna get physical
Jeff Dye's gym bit - watch more funny videos
Watch the chicken bit that gets promo'd at the end, too.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
The World Cup Draw Has Been Announced
The USer side is in Group C, with England, Slovenia, and Algeria. Slovenia eliminated a very strong Russian team, and the Algerians eliminated Egypt. England sides are legendary, and got in by defeating a really good Portugal side, which also advanced.
Here are all the Group draws:
Group A -- South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, FranceIt's a pretty formidable array of talented sides, and great traditions. History and tradition suggest Argentina, England, Germany, Holland, Italy, Brazil and Spain are pretty much locks for the next round. The other 9 spots should be hotly contested. Of all the traditional "powers," France, who played poorly throughout the qualifiers, and only won their spot by a cheat, seem the most vulnerable, even in a relatively weak group. Ghana is the strongest African side, and could advance, too. I doubt the home-side (South Africa) can get past the Group stages.
Group B -- Argentina, Nigeria, South Korea, Greece
Group C -- England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia
Group D -- Germany, Australia, Ghana, Serbia
Group E -- Holland, Japan, Cameroon, Denmark
Group F -- Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia
Group G -- Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
Group H -- Spain, Honduras, Chile, Switzerland
For the benefit of Ser followers, here's the Group C schedule:
The US have a good chance to advance, since two sides from each group go on to the round of 16. Those matches begin June 26:
Match 5, June 12 1930: England v USA (Rustenburg)
Match 6, June 13 1230: Algeria v Slovenia (Polokwane)
Match 22, June 18 1500: Slovenia v USA (Ellis Park, Johannesburg)
Match 23, June 18 1930: England v Algeria (Cape Town)
Match 37, June 23 1500: Slovenia v England (Port Elizabeth)
Match 38, June 23 1500: USA v Algeria (Pretoria)
t is difficult to foresee the USer side beating England to win Group C, but they could be runner up. The USer team is ranked 14 in the world, and COULD advance to the Quarters, but it will take luck, skill, and more luck...
Match 49, June 26 1500: Winner Group A v Runner-up Group B (Port Elizabeth)
Match 50, June 26 1930: Winner Group C v Runner-up Group D (Rustenburg)
Match 51, June 27 1500: Winner Group D v Runner-up Group C (Bloemfontein)
Match 52, June 27 1930: Winner Group B v Runner-up Group A (Soccer City, Johannesburg)
Match 53, June 28 1500: Winner Group E v Runner-up Group F (Durban)
Match 54, June 28 1930: Winner Group G v Runner-up Group H (Ellis Park, Johannesburg)
Match 55, June 29 1500: Winner Group F v Runner-up Group E (Pretoria)
Match 56, June 29 1930: Winner Group H v Runner-up Group G (Cape Town)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
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