You Light Up my Device...Helpful Hint

Calvin & Hobbes' Only Video

The Lost Lowe's Ad from "All-American Muslims"

Ron Paul's "Attack!" Video (via Conan O')

If You Watch ONLY ONE Animated Genitalia Cartoon Today...

MAKE IT THIS ONE!!!

AIDES - GRAFFITI from Yoann Lemoine on Vimeo.

Patrolling the Hemorrhoid Highway, and Other "Acceptable" Euphemisms

Fuck: The Most Versatile Word In English

While on the subject:

"A Food Product": Megyn Kelly Cooks Turkey

Megyn Kelly Pepper Spray Thanksgiving - watch more funny videos

Saxon the Beach

There are a whole buch of these, and for anyone descended from or fond of the history of the Hume Aisles, they're quite amusing and charming.

Classic, Surrealist (Very Weird) Cartoon, Circa 1931

Are "You" You're Cock?

My Penis and Everyone Else's from Lawrence Barraclough on Vimeo.

More "Anti-Gummint" Lies

This Reaganesque bullshit. Did it come from Alex Jones?
It's simply not true, as far as the apparent 'abuses' are concerned,for one thing.
And for another, its PURPOSE to deflect your anger AWAY from the CORPORAT FUX, and onto the Gummint.
Here's a link to the true info...

Wal-Martians ~~ "They NEVER looked into a mirror."

"Counterfeit"

No, really. That's what a spokesmouth for the "new" Legoland that opened last year just around the corner, in Winter Haven, said.

The Sarasota County Sheriff's Office has taken into protective custody a giant Lego man who appeared on Siesta Key Public Beach on Wednesday.

A beachgoer found the “man” near Access 5 this morning, a sheriff's office news release said. He has tentatively been identified as “Ego Leonard,” the name on the back of his shirt. No one is sure how he arrived at the beach, whether he was placed there or if he washed up in the surf.

Mr. Leonard is about 8 feet tall, weighs approximately 100 pounds and is made of fiberglass. The only other identifying information was the writing on the front of his shirt which says “No Real Than You Are” and the number “8” on his back.

Mr. Leonard is being kept in a secure environment until his owner comes forward.

Representatives of the Legoland Florida theme park, which opened earlier this month in Winter Haven, told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune that the giant Lego man doesn't belong to them:

"A spokeswoman for Legoland said the Lego man is a counterfeit and is not endorsed by Legoland or its parent company, Merlin Entertainments Group."

The mock-seriousness, and NYTimes style-book is a nice touch, I think. If I lived near-by, I might try to arrange to foster the young, large "Ego"...I have some experience...

ALl an Atheist Says Is "I Don't Fucking Believe Your Bullshit!"

Jesus Gives US/Us One More Chance...

"These are the People of Wal-Mart"

The MALE Disease ~~ George Carlin

"The poor, stupid fux."

YouTube Pulls Atheist Video After Making Front Page of Digg.com

It's still up on YouTube, apparently...
That's where I got it.
But that could change any moment...
Somebody should save it, somewhere.
I don't know how,,,

Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em

Cigaret Commercials, from the '60s...

Spong-asm...

How To Estimate Penis Length WITHOUT Looking!

The sound of one hand typing?

Penis Size Study: Finger Length Ratio Indicator Of Penis Size
Researchers in South Korea think they've finally been able to crack the code that indicates the size of a man's penis, and it comes down to a ratio of finger length on the right hand.

A new study published in the Asian Journal of Andrology says that the lower the ratio between the length of a man's index finger and the length of his ring finger, the longer his penis.

From Reuters:

"According to our data ... the shorter index (second) finger than ring (fourth) finger you have, the longer stretched penile length you have," wrote Tae Beom Kim at the urology department of Gachon University Gil Hospital in Incheon, South Korea, in reply to questions from Reuters.
Previous studies have shown strong evidence that prenatal testosterone may determine finger development as well as penile length, a relationship that Kim and his colleagues launched a study to focus on.

Researchers at Cachon University in Incheon, Korea studied 144 men over the age of 20 who were getting urological surgery. One researcher measured the index and ring fingers on each patient's right hand. Another researcher then measured the "stretched" and flaccid lengths of the patients' penises after anesthesia.

The researchers "suggest that the digit ratio can predict adult penile size and that the effects of prenatal testosterone may in part explain the differences in adult penile length," according to the abstract of the study.

News of this study will most likely have men all over examining their right hands all day today.

Save Our Inheritances!

ONS: "In The Know: Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit"

In The Know: Coal Lobby Warns Wind Farms May Blow Earth Off Orbit

Grad-Rap: Very Amusing

In my day, grad school was the most fun you could have without getting wet...

"Obamacomic" Wows GOPhux, Then Loses 'Em...

Right after the Redd Fox clip, the humor turned ON the GOPhux Presidential Dwarves, and the hook soon appeared.

Punitive Cosmogeny

"Pwned"***

***"Pwned," for newbies is the condition of being visibly humiliated, to be psychologically neutered, as one is hoist on one's own petard. Via the Urban Dictionary:

A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned."

Instead, it said, so-and-so "has been pwned."

It basically means "to own" or to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like or computer-like force.
"Man, I rock at my job, but I still got a bad evaluation. I was pwned."
OR
"That team totally pwned us."

See, e.g., above^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Rachel Bloom ~~ Short on Social Skills

Ren Rage

Some folks, 'aficionados,' all, regard this as the best piece of animated madness ever.

Never, never, EVER will you guess what this ad is selling!

"I'd Like To Buy The Koch A World..."

Quite brilliant!

"Who's This New Girl Sitting On My Dick?"

How To Get A Guy To Notice You While You're Having Sex With Him

Troubling Signs

In Woody's not at all humble opinion, Ayn Rand's contributions to cinema, literature and philosophy are equivalent to the contributions of coprophagy to the art of cuisine.


Woody regards "Tweet" and "Twitter" to be the cries of our rhetorical canaries being extinguished in the IT coal-mine.


Remember when teachers, public employees, libraries, Planned Parenthood, NPR and PBS crashed the stock market, wiped out half of our 401Ks, took trillions in TARP money, spilled oil in the Gulf of Mexico, gave themselves billions in bonuses, and paid no taxes?
Yeah, me neither."


Clarence Darrow, of a slightly earlier generation of Mandarins, said "a criminal is a predatory person without sufficient resources to start a business"...or words to that effect.


Shorter: Don't bother!

How To Argue With An Atheist!

1) Show 'em yer tits. There's intelligent design enough in them babies for a couple of us.
Then:

Fox News, Up-Skirt Edition

This:

Was sent me by a FBriend, in the context of a discussion of this Fux Nuuz vid:
,
In introduction to which I had wondered aloud:

HOW the fuck does that stupid, blonde slag in the pink dress and locked knees just sit there and listen to that shit, much less contribute?..

The ONLY reason for ANY of the Faux News Bimbettes is to offer the all the drooling trools the possibility of a flash of panty when they uncross and cross their long, skinny legs...

Next time you have to look, watch the angle of the seats of the cahirs in which these poor blonde idiots are forced to sit in and display their wares. These fluffs weren't hired for their IQs...

Some Random Blasphemies

More Timely Tim: The Insanely Talented Tim Minchin (VNSFW)

It gets a bit lurid!

Here's A Useful Hour of Religious Revisionism.

ASL Final Exam: "Fuck You!"

"The Boy With A Bum For A Face"

How to Speak With an Irish Accent

Your Crazy Yiddish Uncle Tells It ALL!

Why Do Xians Think We ENVY Them?

Your Brain, On "Religion"

The tease says YouTube pulled this, but this is a YOuTube link, so I dunno:

How the human penis lost its spines

I wonder if this is the "Just So" story which that Kipling, that ol' Victorian prude, wouldn't tell.

To sum up: Humans lack a switch in the genome that would "turn on" penile spines and sensory whiskers. But our primate relatives, such as chimpanzees, have the switch, and that's why they differ from us in these two ways.
And humans are somewhat exceptional in this regard -- a lot of male primates have bumpy penises; mice, which are rodents, have them, too.

Malloy Lowering the Boom!

Dr. Allison Stanger: One Nation Under Contract.

If you pay attention enough, there are some times when you just have to say, "Jesus Fucking CHRIST! Is NOBODY paying ANY attention?"

The Daily Show - Allison Stanger
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Who You Callin' "Thunder Thighs," Skinny?

“Hey Thunder-thighs!” yelled the predator Deinonychus to the Brontomerus.

But the six-ton Brontomerus didn't get hurt feelings, she just kicked the Deinonychus, a relative of the famous Velociraptor, halfway to Gondwana. Then she ambled away up a steep hill, where skinny-legged dinos didn't have the strength and stamina to follow.

The name Brontomerus literally means “thunder thighs” in Greek. Paleontologists think the newly discovered dinosaur may have used those massive leg muscles to deliver powerful kicks and climb rough terrain.

(BLOG: Grandmother of All Sauropods Unearthed; just fyeieio)

"When we recognized the weird shape of the hip, we wondered what its significance might be, but we concluded that kicking was the most likely,” said Mike Taylor of University College London in a press release by the school.

“The kick would probably have been used when two males fought over a female, but given that the mechanics were all in place it would be bizarre if it wasn't also used in predator defense,” Taylor said.

Brontomerus probably had larger thigh muscles than any other sauropod, relative to it's size. That kind of power would allow Brontomerus to be the 4x4 of dinosaurs, climbing steep hills and rough terrain with ease.

“It's possible that Brontomerus mcintoshi was more athletic than most other sauropods,” said Matt Wedel of Western University of Heath Sciences in a University College London press release.

“It is well established that far from being swamp-bound hippo-like animals, sauropods preferred drier, upland areas; so perhaps Brontomerus lived in rough, hilly terrain and the powerful leg muscles were a sort of dinosaur four-wheel drive," Wedel said.

A team of scientists from the United States and United Kingdom, recently described Brontomerus mcintoshi in the journal Acta Paleontologica Polonica.

In the article they describe the skeletal features that make Brontomerus so unique. The ilium, or hip bone, is very large for a dino its size. The muscle attachments on the shoulder blades seem to indicate the sauropod had massive front legs too.

Brontomerus is an entirely new genus of dinosaur, and paleontologists were lucky to find it. Researchers from the Sam Noble Museum rescued the bones from a looted quarry in Eastern Utah. The find included the remains of two individuals, an adult and a juvenile, possibly a mother and child duo, the researchers speculated.

The adult would have tipped the scales at 6 tons and measuring 45 feet in length. That's about the bulk of a large elephant, with a neck and tail stretching out longer than any living python. The juvenile was about the weight of a pony, 440 pounds, and 15 feet long.

There's jolly lots more at the link, here.

The World of "Wooooo": Quantum Bio Energetics InterQuackional

The indefatigable PZ Myers, that mean, old biology professor and spirit debunker from the University of Minnesota, Morris, is at it again, causing distress to the credulous, focusing on

Many clients, adolescent, adult and child, (who) have reported healings from Cancers, Mental illnesses, Depression, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Physical injuries, a variety of Disabilities including Cerebral Palsy, ASD (Autism), and many other Serious Afflictions.

Assif Mondvi: "The Q'osby Show!

Stephen Colbert v. Richard Branson, W/Nude Models On Their Backs

A New Title From Jon Lajoie: Very Super Famous

This picked up over EIGHTY THOUSAND hits in under 24 hours. Quite NSFW!
This is a very talented cat,,,

A Few Stray, Amusing Images

Johnny McEntee, UCONN's Trick-Shot Quarterback

Practically EVERY boy and a lotta girls have tossed a football--that iconic, ironic oblate spheroid of gridiron legend and lore--around. So just about anybody ought to be able to relate to the really quite astonishing skill this young fella demonstrates. As some wag on FB said, Johnny Mac's BIGGEST trick, however, was convincing folks that UCONN was a "Football" school.

Comedy Central Exclusive: 7 Deadly Sins!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Exclusive - The Seven Deadly Sins - Anger Mash-up
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> The Daily Show on Facebook

Blow Up Their Fucking Heads!

My pal (and late-week B'day celebrant), the Santa Fe satirist par excellence, Jim Terr, sent me this with the instructions: "Cut and paste this on any Rightard "wall" on Facebook, then step back and watch the clowns' heads explode."

A noble act, indeed!

""The Tea Party is a diverse group of patriotic Americans and their opinions should be taken seriously. They are led almost exclusively by AynRandians born on 3rd base who think they hit a triple. Their numbers include:
Civil War Reenactors, middle school dropouts, racists, xenophobes, birthers, klan members, rednecks, war mongers, seniors on 'social' security who hate 'socialism', closeted homophobes, Sean Hanninazis, gun enthousiasts, White Separatists, paranoid home-schoolers, Limbaugh dittoheads, Minute Men, backwoods yokels, bible thumpers who like to watch lesbian bondage, flat earthers, Ruby Ridgers, secessionists, greedy pricks, survivalists, Faux News shit kickers, Neofascists, Creationists, Tongues Chanters, Neocons, Glenn Beck bots, John Birchers, snake handlers, red baiters, and illiterate goobers who think Jesus rode on the back of a triceratops.""

Gore Vidal Peels The Mythology of Reaganism, Finds Nothing There

George Carlin, Near The End, On Important Stuff, Part II

Part I is here.

Mother Nature Twitches, and Cities Vanish

Or in this case, a huge cargo facility on the Amazon River at the port of Manaus, in October, 2010. A thing like this could really complicate your day, nest paw?

PZ Myers & JT Eberhart Regard The Attractive Xian Myths

Did you know about "SkeptiCon?" I didn't and I should have had an engraved invite.

During Skepticon III, speaker/biologist/author of Pharyngula, PZ Myers, speaks with a protester handing out Ray Comfort's version of Origin of the Species. Co-founder of Skepticon/campus organizer & high school specialist for Secular Student Alliance, JT Eberhard, speaks with a Christian, attempting to extract from her reasonable evidence for believing in the Bible and god.

Good luck widdat, you betcha!

Extended 28 minute cut available HERE.

Thirty Minutes With "Mr. Deity," Brian Dalton

How To Free A Chained Dog and Win Good Karma

This is quite good, and the affectless voices actually amplify the volume of the discourse. I found it on F-Book.

A Ticket To The Freak Show, Front-Row Set, With A Notebook

"Idiocracy": The Credits

Would "Kingdom Cum" Count as a Theological Neolo-Gism?

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its
yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings
for common words.
The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.),a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your
nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. "Ignoranus": A stupid asshole--is my all-time favorite. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent
for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get
it.
6.. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are runninglate.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?
And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you
rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the
morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

There Actually WAS A Steam-Powered Airplane, Circa 1933

DOTOF to my old meat-space pal, Mike Lord.

Doug Stanhope: "Nanna Needs A Ride"

DOTOF to pal and Santa Fe's premiere satirist, Jim Terr:

The Gourmand's Companion

This is an incomplete project which always comes to mind when someone remarks, as if to scorn the quotidian, that they are going to have "BREAKFAST" for dinner. There is NEVER a bad time to have breakfast! And nothing is forbidden for consumption at breakfast, either.

The Gourmand's companion:
1) It is NEVER too late, or too early, to have breakfast.
1a) You may have anything for breakfast your heart desires.
2) You can NEVER have too much for brunch, cuz it's the only meal of the day.
3) Have dessert first: You NEVER know.
4) Chocolate --especially dark-- goes with EVERYTHING.
5) When in doubt, use the second-largest utensil in any set at table.
6) If you start on wine, and want something stronger, later, go with brandy (You'll thank me in the morning.)
7) There is no "bad" way to prepare potatoes.
8) If you MUST choose, buy GOOD beer and cheap whiskey.
9) There is NO "wrong time" to get high.

Feel free to add more as you can think of 'em...

"If Baudrillard Could See Us Now!"

Performed--a bit inartfully--by a bunch of Canadian grad students.


I am sympathetic, because their efforts mirror my own at trying to master the rhetoric and vocabulary of statistics, which I only achieved by writing doggerel.

How 'bout them number-summers, ain't they hams,
Plottin' they freq'ncies on they histograms?
Them n-countin' number-summers got they preculiar pleasures,
Wi' they aspects o' dispersion, an' they deviatin' measures.
Them nomologic number-summers, ain't they hot,
Gettin' all they data in a box-'n'-whisker plot?

How 'bout them number-summers, ain't they strange?
Put they mode, mean an' median in they inter-quart'le range.
They got measures o' dispersion, an' deviation measures,
Deviatin' standards an' other kinds o' treasures.
Them parametric number-summers, ain't they enigmas?
Puttin' they parentheses all around they sigmas.